Inching towards mediocrity.


Albert Gonquin’s Five Helpful Tips For Being Environmentally Conscious In The Woods (A Helpful List From Albert Gonquin)

Hello, everyone. I know you probably came here looking for Luciano Galasso to regale you with tales of whatever it is he usually talks about. Unfortunately, he’s not here at the moment…so I guess you’re just stuck with me. Allow me to introduce myself, though I don’t expect you to remember my name or ever bring it up in conversation again. That’s fine, by the way.

I hope you like feeling bored and disappointed. I'm Al Gonquin.

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Kevin Costner will save us all. (Now with 87% more hyperbole!)

They have tried everything to fix the oil spill. Garbage. Giant containment units. Golf balls. They even (briefly, I hope) considered nuking it.

There was one solution they hadn’t considered, though. Until now.

Kevin. Costner.

Yes. HIM.

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All’s whale that ends whale. (Now with 61% more feces!)

Have I got a whale of a tale for you today, dear reader. (And I assure you, that is only the first of many, many whale-based puns to come).

If you were "fishing" for more stories about whales, you got it! (Yes, I'm aware that they're mammals).

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Hunger Awareness Day in Toronto. (Now with 100% more hunger awareness!)

I am not a selfish man by any means. Nor am I a greedy one. I am, however, a lazy man – and, as such, have rarely thrown my hat into the ol’ “helping less fortunate people” ring.

Until now.

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Let there be (energy efficient) light!

LED lightbulbs are brighter, last longer, and are more environmentally responsible then your regular, run-of-the-mill lightbulb. This we know, and one thing more – they’re also wicked expensive.

Until now.

Lower your price, sir!

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