Inching towards mediocrity.


In Soviet Russia, Oil Spills You! (Now with 30% more Very Bad Ideas).

As the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico continues to…spill…oil…scientists from across the globe are frantically looking for an adequate means to cork the decidedly environmentally unfriendly disaster.

One of these ideas is being put forth by those lovable Russians; their solution? Nuke the bastard.

Don't worry, guys. Russia's got this.

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Local Heat Wave Blamed on The Sun, Experts Say

Environment Canada says that this April has been the warmest Toronto has ever seen in at least 150 years. (That’s when they started recording this kind of thing). The average temperature has been 11.3 degrees celcius –  a number that crushes the normal average of only 7.6 degrees celcius. While this has been great news for Toronto patio goers, environmental experts remain worried, and offer a grim explanation for the sudden rise in temperatures.

It’s not global warming – not this time. They theorize that the sun is moving closer.

I'm coming for you, bitches.

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The Late Shift, Part II: Shift Happens. (Now with 75% more lies from NBC!)

Conan O’Brien has gone rogue.

NBC’s red-headed stepchild and host of “The Tonight Show” has begun to lash out at his keepers in increasingly awkward (and increasingly hilarious!) dramatic fashion.

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The Great 2009 Wrap-Up Concluded! (Now with 100% more of the rest of 2009!)

Time to put an end to all this 2009 remembrance, nostalgia madness.

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I’m totally not that bitter. (Now with 81% more bitterness!)
November 5, 2009, 5:03 pm
Filed under: Baseball, NOT AWESOME | Tags: , , , ,

Well.

I guess money does buy happiness.

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The dream is over. (Now with 0% chance of me watching the World Series!)
October 26, 2009, 4:19 pm
Filed under: Baseball, Humour & Comedy, NOT AWESOME

american league championship series

Well.

The Angels are officially out. The Yankees are officially in.

The 2009 World Series will be between the New York Yankees and the reigning Philadelphia Phillies.

I probably will not be watching.

Sigh.