Inching towards mediocrity.


Thames as it ever was.

The Thames River in London, England, was declared biologically dead in the 1950’s – which is basically just a nice way of saying “you’re gross and awful and nothing will ever live in you.” Good news on the horizon, though – the Thames, apparently are a-changin’.

Things are looking up, river.

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Alberta River Toxic; Politicians Remain Unconcerned.

Toxic pollutants have been found in the Athabasca River in Edmonton, near oilsands sites, but luckily the pollutants are at “insignificant levels.” So naturally no one seems to be concerned. Including Alberta’s environmental minister, the Honourable Rob Renner.

Pretty. (Also, toxic).

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Albert Gonquin’s Five Helpful Tips For Being Environmentally Conscious In The Woods (A Helpful List From Albert Gonquin)

Hello, everyone. I know you probably came here looking for Luciano Galasso to regale you with tales of whatever it is he usually talks about. Unfortunately, he’s not here at the moment…so I guess you’re just stuck with me. Allow me to introduce myself, though I don’t expect you to remember my name or ever bring it up in conversation again. That’s fine, by the way.

I hope you like feeling bored and disappointed. I'm Al Gonquin.

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All’s whale that ends whale. (Now with 61% more feces!)

Have I got a whale of a tale for you today, dear reader. (And I assure you, that is only the first of many, many whale-based puns to come).

If you were "fishing" for more stories about whales, you got it! (Yes, I'm aware that they're mammals).

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Plugging Into Plants. (Now with 87% more algae!)

In a move that’s no doubt being hailed by experts for it’s “what the hell, why not” attitude, scientists have turned to algae cells to produce electricity.

That’s correct. Algae cells.

Yep. ALGAE.

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