Inching towards mediocrity.


Completely Lucid Mime Duo Are Totally Into Miracles. (And, God, apparently).

I’ll be honest. I don’t really know a lot about the Insane Clown Posse. I’d heard of them, sure, and was aware that they were some kind of rap group, who were known for their wacky stage shows and wackier makeup and outfits. Also, they’re totally hardcore.

Yikes. I would not want to meet those two in a dark alley…wait, what?

Um.

Right. So, if you havn’t stumbled upon it by now (and trust me, you will at some point – not including this point), the dark clowns of the rap world (whose fans are known as “Juggalos” for some reason) have released a new video for their song “Miracles” that is so mindblowingly unintentionally hilarious, that it might just be the greatest thing ever created by man, beast, or fat clown.

To save you the trouble of actually seeing this sterling pinnacle of failure in a career that’s been almost nothing but (although I strongly suggest that you do watch it), I’ll break the video down piece by piece and try to explain just what the hell is going on – though even now I am fully aware that this might be a pointless and fruitless effort. Your mileage may vary – enjoy!

The video begins, as most videos of this ilk must, with our boys ascending into the night sky on some sort of telescoping tower and talking about the magic of miracles. Oh, and FYI, fellas – two people is not a “posse.”

“Long neck giraffes, and pet cats and dogs” are also examples of miracles. Or things the fat one won’t eat. (Though, let’s face it – he doesn’t look too discriminatory about what he puts in his chubby face). Either way, here they are.

Oh, hey, look – some PYRAMIDS! Miracles everywhere in this bitch, yo.

“Fucking rainbows after it rains/there’s enough miracles here to blow your brains.”

I’ll let you do your own joke here. Trust me, it won’t be hard.

Here we see the fat one “feeding a fish to a pelican at Frisco bay,” but alas, “it tried to eat his cell phone” and “ran away.” Miracle or not, god I hope this is based on a true story. And I hope he got that damn pelican.

Let’s get real for a second here, guys. Seriously. This is some heavy shit, right? A goddamn pelican just ate his goddamn phone. Serious.

Anyways, what were we talking about?

Oh, right. MIRACLES.

And now the douchey(er) looking one is lamenting about “f*!@#ing magnets” because he doesn’t know how they work. But he doesn’t want any answers from you scientists, because you’re all “lying, and getting him pissed.” Apparently in the ICP world, scientists are all conspirators, lying about magnets to confuddle the populace and line their own pockets with dirty money from the vast magnet consortium. Whatever, man. These guys are too hardcore for “science” – though the Rolex on his left hand seems to suggest otherwise.

Speaking of hardcore, shortly after denouncing science and magnets, the fat one starts singing about how he loves his mom and the magic of butterflies (seen here, appropriately enough, in full ICP makeup). No, I’m not fucking kidding.

I honestly can’t say whether this is supposed to represent ICP’s birth, or just the mother’s position during inception. What I’m trying to say is, this guy’s mom is probably a whore.

It’s all about family, right? The fat one continues to sing, this time siting how the skinny, douchey(er) one’s kids look just like him and, oh, yeah…

…the fat one’s kid looks like him too! (Whether that’s with or without the makeup, no one knows – Or cares). The only possible explanation for this? MIRACLES! Or MAGIC! But certainly not GENETICS! Or SCIENCE!

He kind of looks like a fat mime. Except the only “invisible box” he’s ever been trapped in is a pizza box. And it wasn’t invisible. Also, it had pizza in it.

After that, the video just sort of degenerates into them singing and dancing on their (non-science related) telescope as it lifts them into heaventhe sky, while some cheesy guitar “solo” plays them out.

Guitars also have nothing to do with science or progress either, by the way. “Music is all magic” and you “can’t even hold it” because magic is everywhere and can’t be held down by no bitch ass punks, got it?

They might be the Insane Clown Posse, but that doesn’t mean they’re crazy.


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

(psst. it’s intentionally hilarious. these guys are ironic in ways only hipsters dream about.)

Comment by krowface

Totally agree with you, I said something very similar last week http://www.bite.ca/bitedaily/2010/04/insane-clown-posse-miracles/

Comment by Brent Chittenden




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