Inching towards mediocrity.


Mongolian Death Worm Discovered; Fact, Hoax or Elaborate Cover-Up? Part II.

The Mongolian Death Worm, a cryptid long believed to be a hoax, has been discovered by Kingston scientist Dr. Raymond Gavan. It was Dr. Gavan’s curiosity that brought he and his motley crew of adventure seekers to the Gobi Desert; it would be his obsession that brought them to disaster.

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Mongolian Death Worm Discovered; Fact, Hoax or Elaborate Cover-Up?

The Mongolian Death Worm, a creature long believed to only exist in legend, has been discovered. It was discovered recently by crypto-zoologist Dr. Raymond Gavan in the Gobi Desert in an expedition that Dr. Gavan himself describes as “a wholly, and completely, wrong-headed idea.”
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This “furry angel of death” is your most terrifying/adorable nightmare. (Now with 86% pussy!)

A cat in a nursing hospital in Providence, RI, has been calmly predicting patient’s deaths for over five years, snuggling up to those destined to die. He has willingly, and ably, prophesied over fifty deaths.

And yet this menace still roams free.

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Rip Torn is the most badass 78-year-old bank robber you’ll ever meet. (And pray that you never do).

Rip Torn, the actor best known for his Emmy-award winning role on “The Larry Sanders Show” (and also for hitting Norman Mailer in the head with a hammer) has apparently been arrested for – and I’m not making this up – alleged armed robbery of a bank in Conneticut while intoxicated. Also, he’s seventy-eight years old.

Awesome.

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An open letter to George Lucas. (Now with 99% more chin fat!)

George Lucas has returned, and may god have mercy on all of us.

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